As a sex educator, I frequently encounter questions about anal sex, which is both a common fantasy and a frequent source of problematic sexual encounters.
I’ve heard countless horror stories from individuals who attempted anal sex while young and under the influence, only to have the experience go awry, potentially turning them off the idea for years or even indefinitely.
Upon investigation, these experiences often share common factors: a lack of communication, inadequate warm-up and arousal, and insufficient lubrication.
Curious about homemade anal sex? Before diving in, consider some background reading such as “What You Need to Know About Anal Sex” and “Your Top 10 Questions About Anal Play – Answered!” to ensure you’re well-informed.
Defining Anal Sex: Need some background reading? Check out What You Need to Know About Anal Sex and Your Top 10 Questions About Anal Play – Answered!
Anal Play the Safe and Pleasurable Way
When it comes to anal intercourse, taking things slow is key for a pleasurable experience, regardless of gender.
Safety and enjoyment go hand in hand, and the learning curve isn’t steep. Slowing down isn’t just about the pace of penetration (although that’s important too); it’s about engaging in open communication with your partner well before the act.
Talk About It Before Trying It
Discussing desires and boundaries beforehand is crucial preparation for any sexual encounter. Understanding your partner’s history with anal sex and their preferences for comfort and pleasure sets the stage for a positive experience.
Resist the temptation to rush into sex; instead, engage in conversations via text or in public to keep the focus on communication. Anticipation adds excitement, and negotiation can serve as foreplay, building anticipation for what lies ahead.
Try It Solo First
Before exploring anal penetration with a partner, consider experimenting solo. Whether using fingers or exploring a wide range of butt plugs and anal toys, solo exploration allows you to become familiar with your own body’s responses.
Always ensure that any object inserted into the anus has a large, flared base to prevent it from getting stuck—a common occurrence that often leads to emergency room visits.
Even if you’re not considering being the recipient of anal penetration, experimenting with it on yourself beforehand can offer valuable insights.
There’s no substitute for experiencing the sensitivity of the area firsthand and understanding the need for a slow, gradual approach.
The Ins and Outs of Anal Intercourse – Safety
Whether you’re exploring solo or with a partner, beginning with external anal stimulation is essential. The anus and its surrounding area are highly sensitive, making touch in this region potentially very pleasurable.
Start with a gentle external massage, using ample lubrication, to acquaint yourself with the sensations. Simply focusing on external touch can suffice for initial attempts, or even for several tries.
Incorporating external stimulation into your foreplay routine can serve as a gentle introduction to the idea of anal penetration, whether giving or receiving.
If you have a vulva, it’s crucial to exercise caution regarding cross-contamination. Any objects or body parts that come into contact with or penetrate the anus must be thoroughly cleaned before coming into contact with the vulva or vagina.
Failing to do so can introduce bacteria and lead to various unpleasant infections.
Using gloves during anal play can offer several benefits. Not only do they facilitate easy cleanup by allowing you to simply remove the glove afterward, but they also help ensure that your hands remain soft and smooth.
Additionally, gloves can prevent scratches or tears in the rectum caused by fingernails, which can be particularly problematic due to the presence of bacteria in the area.
It’s important to consider the increased risk of STI transmission associated with anal sex, as the thin mucus membranes of the rectum are prone to micro-tears. When deciding on barrier methods, keep this in mind and prioritize safety.
Warming Up for Anal Sex
Ready to explore anal play? Take it step by step:
1. Talk to Your Partner About Anal Play: Negotiate boundaries and preferences carefully. Discuss whether anal penetration, external anal touch, or analingus will be involved. Address safety needs, including the use of barriers, and establish clear communication during sex.
2. Get Clean: While hygiene concerns may arise with anal play, they are generally manageable. As long as you’ve emptied your bowels a few hours beforehand, there should be minimal risk. However, incorporating a shower into foreplay or as part of your pre-sex routine can enhance confidence and relaxation.
If hygiene is a concern, consider using an enema or anal douche after conducting thorough research on safe practices and products. Alternatively, a simple external wash suffices for many individuals.
Keeping baby wipes handy can be useful for any unexpected cleanup needs, allowing you to embrace the unpredictability of intimate and adventurous sex.